Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Happy Birthday Brock

I have put this off for a week now, but I know I need to take a moment to write it all down. Brock's 5th birthday was such a huge milestone for all of us. This particular birthday was also very hard on me. I honestly never thought ahead and visualized my baby turning 5. Each year it starts to become harder and harder to accept that my child is growing up. I look back on the years that have passed and feel like just yesterday I was holding him in my arms for the first time. I know every parent says that at one time or another but it is so true. I cannot believe that time has gone by so fast.

Brock was born on April 28, 2005. He weighed in at 5lbs 11oz and was 19in. What was so amazing was that he was almost 6 weeks premature but a very good size. It was truly one of the most terrifying moments in my life. We were not expecting anything like this to happen and were most definitely not ready. When he was born the outlook on everything was very grim. Brock was born with no vital signs and it took the doctors and nurses over 5 minutes to resuscitate him. After that no one knew what the future held for us. But by the grace of god our little boy was a fighter and after having spent a week in the NICU we were able to bring him home with us.

Everything changed for us then. For me it was extremely hard and for a few long weeks I had to cope with postpartum depression. With out family helping out I am not sure what I would have done. By the time Brock was about 4 weeks old the sun was shining again for me. It is hard to even admit such a thing, but I think going through all that is what makes me and Brock that much closer. He was and still is the center of my existence. We both grew together and I know that because of him I am the person I am today. Each birthday that has passed I have shed tears and every day I watch him grow up more and more.

For the past five years we have had our share of laughter, tears, nightmares, dreams, scrapes, and scratches. And for the past five years I have had to watch him become more independent and start to branch out on his own. He has great friends and doesn't need mom coddling him anymore. If he falls down and I jump up I usually get the "moooom Im ok, geez" and rolls his eyes. If he had it his way he would be playing outside without me like all the other older kids. He loves playing on the computer, xbox, and talking on the phone. Baseball is his favorite sport and he plays on the local little league team. He does everything on his own and I am having to just sit down and watch.

I always thought I would have my baby and you put off the fact that they have to grow up. If I feel like this with he is just turning 5, I'm scared to think how my emotions will be when he turns 10. This is a huge milestone for us and the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. School is the next big step and I only have him home with me for another 4 months till that starts. I still dont know how I feel about all of this but Im taking everything one day at a time. I wish it was in my power to let time stand still for just a little while. We couldn't be more proud though of the person he is becoming.

Brock, I hope you had the best birthday and I love you so much!! Happy 5th Birthday handsome boy.
Birth Day
1st Birthday

2nd Birthday

3rd Birthday

4th Birthday

5th Birthday

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